I'm a beautiful butterfly!!

Once upon a time there was a father who had two sons and a daughter. The father was always away from the home and off working long periods of time and wasn't available to take care of the kids. The oldest son was usually gone as well, partying with his friends and often showed up home late at night. The second son stayed at home and took care of his younger sister while cooking dinners and cleaning around the house.

A few years later, both sons moved out and each of them got married and started raising a family of their own. The first son would always be gone and wouldn't help his wife take care of their children. His firstborn was out playing around with her friends and would stay away late hours of the night while their second born stayed home taking care of the home with his mother.

The second born son had two children, in which both of them helped around the home and they all had really healthy relationships with one another. What caused these different family structures when both sons were raised in the same family?

We see that in the beginning, the father wasn't home much. That sort of example fell onto the first son, causing him to think it was fine to not be home a lot. The father wasn't around to teach his children and grow that father-child relationship. There wasn't that attachment. The second son stayed home and did the house work. Why didn't he follow in his older brother's direction? Those parenting roles and responsibilities weren't being met by their father. Therefore, the second son felt that "it was his job" to step up and fill those parenting roles. As the years went by, we saw a pattern between the son's future families and how they grew up individually.

Do we notice similar patterns in our own families? What causes these patterns to continue?

It takes approximately 3-4 generations for a habit/tradition to wash out unless someone realizes something needs to be fixed. That being said, if we do have bad habits we wish to change in our families, how do we go about changing them into good ones?

Decisions for Eternity, a general conference talk given by Elder Russell M. Nelson, tells us the importance of our decisions we are making now and how they shape our futures. "each day is a day of decision. President Thomas S. Monson has taught us that “decisions determine destiny.” The wise use of your freedom to make your own decisions is crucial to your spiritual growth, now and for eternity. You are never too young to learn, never too old to change. Your yearnings to learn and change come from a divinely instilled striving for eternal progression. Each day brings opportunity for decisions for eternity (Decisions for Eternity - Russell M. Nelson. (n.d.). Retrieved January 28, 2016, from https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/10/decisions-for-eternity?lang=eng). "

I love this quote. It gives me hope that we all are able to change our lives. I feel that it's super easy to fall into the trap of thinking "well this is how it's always been, so it's too late for me to change." A caterpillar doesn't look at a butterfly and think, "I'm never going to be that beautiful." Instead, the caterpillar decides to wrap itself in a cocoon and works hard in changing itself into a beautiful butterfly. Was it going to change if it sat around thinking it's never going to be that beautiful? Nope, certainly not. It chose to change into a butterfly. Likewise, we all have to choose to either stay a caterpillar or work to change into a butterfly; something different. It might feel weird and be awkward, however from my personal experiences with changing to good family habits it has been a blessing.