The Power to Influence

Power: the capacity to influence

What do most of us think about when we hear the word power? We probably think of kings who rule kingdoms, or we may think about civilizations in the scriptures going down because of their pride and hunger for power. But is there another way in which power is used?

In our lives, we see how we are influenced by other people. That's easy. What isn't easy though, is to see how we are influencing someone else.

Power can have a lot of negative affects. Some of these include it's demanding, makes life uncomfortable, and can cause a withhold of affection/support.

In marriages, who is the one with the "most" power? Some may say it's the husband because he is generally the head of the household. Others may argue that the wife has the most power considering she is typically known to keep the home running smoothly and nurturing her children.


Let's start with the typical husband and pretend that he has all the "power" in this marriage. He goes to work and earns money for the family's needs and therefore has the power. He is the one responsible for protecting his family and consequently has the power. He is the one to show his sons what it means to be a man, and be an example to his daughters of who they should marry and thus has the power. He has the power over the family, so that's a good thing right?

What would be some effects in this typical marriage if he had all the power? He could feel too overbearing, and that sense of "power" could bring a feeling of pride. His feelings of pride and overbearing could cause his wife and children to become intimidated by him and thus withdraw. Pride is self centered; it sets aside love and concern. It clouds from us reality of things as they really are and causes us to forget relationships are what truly makes us happy.

Now let's look at the typical wife and pretend that she has all the power. She might have a job to help her husband provide for the family. She nurtures her children and makes sure their personal needs are met so she has all the power. She cooks the meals to make sure her children are fed and healthy and she helps them with her homework so she has the power.

What would be some of the effects in this typical marriage if she had all the power? The husband may feel like he's not doing his job as the father which could create tension between he and his wife. The children may not have as good a relationship with their father because the majority of the time their mother is home.


There are many ways in which "power" in marriage can be a negative influence. However, is there a positive way that power can be a good thing in marriage?

If we think about it, power is generally led to negative outcomes and can diminish relationships. In a marriage there is something that helps encourage the relationship and overall pleases the satisfaction.

Responsibility: taking your unique roles as man and wife and using them to help your wife/family out. It's encouraging your spouse to be their best self. It's lovingly working for your family so your wife can use that money to buy food for your children. It's cleaning the home so when your husband comes home he can relax. It's helping your children with their homework together, getting to know your children on individual levels, and ultimately becoming a family knit together in unity.

These actions encourage love and harmony in the home, they create respect for one another, and it's easier to request rather than demand. The home is much more comfortable, and showing affection in the home will come naturally.

It's time to influence for the better by taking responsibility for who you are and your unique roles in creating a more unified environment for your family.